I’m a recovering abuse victim and life survivor, sharing my story to help others.

In a recent conversation, I was criticized for sharing my story

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Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash

As anyone with a mental illness can tell you, there are just some people out there in the world that will never understand or accept who you are. I wish we lived in a utopian world where people could just have a little empathy and compassion toward things they don’t understand. For me, I see it continuously in my life when I’m trying to share my story.

Phrases like, “it’s the past, let it go” start becoming the norm. For someone like me who already has issues trusting anyone, it makes me feel like everything I’ve experienced, overcome, and triumphed over becomes invalid. In some ways, unfortunately, that’s true. It isn’t valid to the critic. The critic that never understood to begin with and can’t fathom how much overcoming these battles mean to my mental well being. According to Sherry Hamby Ph.D. in “Resilience and 4 Benefits to Sharing Your…

How saying “I’m fine” impacts your interactions with others

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Photo by Karl Fredrickson on Unsplash

I bet everyone can sit back and remember a time when someone asked if you were okay and your instant reaction was, “I’m fine.” Well, I’m here to tell you that it’s not helping you or anyone around you. Bear with me and I’ll explain why.

The battle of lies begins with those around us. Yes, I said it, lies. We’ve all faced the issue of trying to talk to someone about how we feel. We’ve all had someone important to us reject our mental health and/or our feelings in the process. There’s a term for it. …

We can all use a break from reality, but why is alone time so important?

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Photo by Joshua Earle on Unsplash

In recent weeks, I’ve been spending time removed away from everyone and everything. I had gotten to the point where I stopped hearing my own thoughts and all I kept hearing was everyone else’s expectations of what I should do.

After living most of my life under the dictator rule of narcissistic abuse, I started realizing that I was allowing myself to slip back into those old habits of showing myself off to the side. It had gotten to the point that I was neglecting my own physical and mental health to just “handle” what was expected of me.

A poem written about the end of relationship, a broken heart and being faced with the reality that it’s time to move on.

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Photo by Kate Hliznitsova on Unsplash

Moment in Time

A small moment in time,
Your life touched mine.
Joyful days of laughter,
Are gone now after.

Feeling a boundless love,
Sent from heaven above.
Full of emotion intense,
Stubbornness made you dense.

A small moment in time,
Your life touched mine.
Now it’s darkness and bleak,
Sadly, it’s been but a week.

You stabbed my heart,
With the toss of a dart.
It’s just silence and quiet,
Cravings for sugar on a diet.

A small moment in time,
Your life touched mine.
My tears all spilled,
My voice all yelled. …

As I battled through complex-PTSD, why do some things trigger me into reactions I hate myself for?

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Photo by Marcus Lenk on Unsplash

Over the years and over probably hundreds of counseling sessions, I was diagnosed with complex-PTSD. Many of you know what PTSD or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is. You’ve probably heard it often associated with Veterans who have seen combat.

PTSD is typically associated with a single traumatic event or a series of traumatic events over a short window of time. Well, complex-PTSD is the result of prolonged episodes lasting years and is more interpersonal in nature. It is caused by parental abuse, sexual abuse, and repeated psychological abuse during early childhood development. …

I knew my mental health had tanked past what I could handle alone

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Photo by Big Dodzy on Unsplash

Content warning: suicide. If you or someone you know needs help, call The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800–273-TALK (8255).

I sat alone with a single thought on my mind. I just wanted it to all stop. The pain, the hurt, and the anguish to just be over. Many things have happened to make me feel this way lately. Some things out of my control, others spiraling from the burdens of daily struggles.

A loaded gun in hand. I sat in my favorite spot, alongside the animals that provided me with so much peace in my life. Tears streaming down my cheeks, thinking that I could die happy here at that moment. …

Life is filled with ups and downs, but it isn’t meant to be a ride we take alone.

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Photo by Marty Finney on Unsplash

No truer words have ever been said. Life truly is a roller coaster. There’s always something swinging you from one direction to another. Up, down, sideways, steep incline, and a sharp fall. All we can do is buckle up and enjoy the ride.

I know it’s difficult sometimes and all that we want to do is get off. We beg for the ride to stop. The urge to just take a break becomes very vivid and very real. …

Poem about being shattered after trust has been destroyed.

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Photo by CHUTTERSNAP on Unsplash

Empty I am

A black hole where no light shines.
This empty cavern deep within,
Thick stone walls, made of granite.
That place where my heart used to be

The things you’ve done have broken me,
Like tiny fragments and bits of glass.
No glue will ever manage to make me whole,
Back to the person that I used to be

It’s better to die a peaceful death,
Than die a thousand deaths, day after day.
You took my heart, when you should have killed me. …

When is the last time someone asked, “How are you?”

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Photo by Daniel Tafjord on Unsplash

For the last few weeks, I’ve not been handling life, in general, very well. The rollercoaster of emotions has me in a tailspin that I’m having difficulty crawling out of. I’ve been contemplating life too much lately. Between deaths, monumental things missed, hurt, heartache, and complete disrespect… I think I’m on the cusp of another major shift in my life. I’ve had my fill of narcissistic assholes that manipulate and use people for their own gain. I’m tired of friends that somehow can’t even manage to pick up the phone to make sure you’re okay.

Please, someone… please explain to me exactly how hard it is to send a quick text? …

If you try to follow my mentality, you’ll get lost in a maze. My mind swirls 1,000 miles a minute and inspiration comes from personal to mundane tasks.

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Photo by Nils Stahl on Unsplash

Many will tell you that to take yourself serious as a writer, you must write everyday. I’m going to offer an alternative perspective. If you are writing to heal or share your personal story, don’t write everyday. You have to write when you can emotionally handle writing.

Since my topics are often about mental health and things I’ve faced directly or indirectly in my life, I’d like to say that writing is the best way to cope. For me, it’s a shared personal journey about all the things that matter to me. Be it my own healing process, things that upset me about things like child abuse and trafficking, or maybe the failures of our system that should do what’s right by our kids. …

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