Yes, I’m a writer… but my main profession is a farmer and mentor

Photo provided by author, Doreen Barker. Image is of Doreen and her first heifer, Ruby

My evolution into farming came out of mental illness. While many farmers are running a risk of suicide due to the stresses of farming, I started a farm for my own inner peace. To say I’ve done this all backwards is an understatement.

I’ve written before about . What I haven’t discussed is the raw truth behind it all. Farming is the by far the hardest profession I’ve ever done. I’ve working in sales and marketing, as a painter, a journalist…

Reader, Writer, Marketer, Information Geek, Photographer, Mentor, and Farmer

Photo of Author, Doreen Barker

My Grandfather was the best story teller in my life. His vivid recounts of his time served in the Army during World War II, travelling the world, created a love of story telling. The way he could paint a visual picture with words inspired me to become a writer.

I remember being assigned my senior thesis and choosing a topic I knew he could give me personal feedback on. I picked the Pygmy Tribe of Africa. I researched and listened to his recalls of what they were like in person, something…

A small piece of my life story about living under the thumb of an abusive mother

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“It should have been you that’s dead!”

I know inside my head that this is the first memorable time that my mother blamed me for something gone wrong. In my heart, I know it was not. I wrote about the sordid tale of the a while ago. In reading, you can see that my reactions were ingrained to disappear, terrified to breathe, and blatantly ignored.

I remember this instance as the first memorable child abuse due to the situation shift from The Lost Child to The Scapegoat Child. I went from being largely ignored and…

Boy moms can tell you that sometimes, potty training is difficult.

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My oldest son tested my limits as a new mom, especially when it came to potty training. I’m going to share my failures so that other moms will know they aren’t struggling alone. Don’t stress. That’s the key. It took me nearly two years to get there… but it happened.

I started potty training my son at around 18 months of age. The doctors, family members, and all those parenting books said it was time to start. Looking back, there are things I would have done differently.

The advice was to get a stool, use cheerios, and make it a…

The process of food production from a small farmers perspective

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Food the great unifying element of all living people. But is it really?

As a farmer that is highly involved in agricultural mentoring, public education on growing methods, and someone that is vocal about the state of agriculture I know the fights that happen over food and production methods. You would be surprised at the level of discord behind all the food you eat.

Production methods have become a major issue for consumer and producer a like. Conventional agriculture is bashed by organic agriculture and vice versa. Small farms are…

A small piece of my life story about living under the thumb of an abusive mother

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“Leave me alone and just go outside,” my mother yells with a bitter, angry look on her face, her finger pointing to the door, “I don’t want you in here pestering me.”

I can’t tell you what age I was or what I was doing at the time. What I can tell you is how statements like these would make me feel. The damage these words, the tone of voice, and the physical bodily demonstrations would cause my inner self to feel abandoned, unwanted, and a bother.

I was an only child for a while. I was a pest and…

The driving force behind my need for control in my outward life

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If you follow me, you know that I’m a victim of a long list of abuses. What I rarely discuss is my driving need to control my life around me. From the food I eat to the friends I talk to, everything is carefully laid out. After living a lifetime as a victim of narcissistic abuses, I have developed sensitivities to nearly everything in life. It’s like developing allergies to foods over time.

Exactly why do I feel the need for hyper-control of myself and my surroundings?

When you live your life with every inaction and reaction dictated by someone…

by John Glatt

Some sordid distortions of family life at home, under the brokenness of abuse, and how the Turpin children lived decades of abuse.

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Trigger Warning — Childhood Abuse, Sexual Abuse, Hostage Situation, and Trauma

They say that damaged people create and cause damaged people. It’s not a falsity, but there is hope for the abused. That hope requires understanding the atrocities that happened to you, strength to overcome the issues created, and resiliency to fight past it all. It’s not a simple process but then again, neither was surviving the abuse endured.

I’ve felt like a prisoner to my parent’s abuses…

An explanation for the lack of self-trust

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The dynamics of trusting yourself can be dramatically altered with negative experiences. In life, we all face forms of trauma. The impacts can last a lifetime. Narcissistic control can leave behind self-doubt, decreased self-worth, and alter how our minds process trust. Even a kid that was bullied in school has trust issues.

I recently asked a group of people, no one impacted by the same types of trauma, how they had issues with self-trust. The common denominators within the answers and conversations were astounding. It seems that no matter the direct trauma, the results are still the same.

One of…

The power of positive affirmations in healing from trauma

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Voices of the past haunt my mind. It doesn’t matter the circumstances. My brain says “you’re worthless,” or “you’re such a disaster.” There is this constant barrage of negativity. Through therapy, I learned that these voices have embedded into my inner critic, sounding just like former abusers. Often times, even in their voice. “You’ll never amount to anything!” is yelled in a voice that sounds like my mother.

Trauma impacts over half of us. The events themselves may vary, but the impacts are still the same. During healing, the process can become a roller coaster ride of emotions. I know…

Doreen Barker

I’m a recovering abuse victim and life survivor, sharing my story to help others.

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